Summers & Freckles & Self-doubt??? Read on to connect the three... (wink)

Well, my sister wanted me to blog about “summers”. So here I go (Smile)… What comes to your mind when I say “Summer”???

An optimist would say… Mangoes (yummy), beaches, summer vacations, watermelons, cool milkshakes & Ice-creams.

A Pessimist’s viewpoint… The terrible & prickly heat, the havoc it wrecks on the hair & Skin, barren land, the droopy plants and the never ending sweat.

Where do I fall??? Not sure. I am neither a “glass full” nor a “glass empty” person. I am a “water in the glass” girl. (Did u get that bit???). Ofcourse, I like mangoes, ice-creams and watermelons. And I hate the heat and sweat. But my worst fear about an impending summer season is the on-set of a million freckles, not anywhere else, but on my face… (Sad & Sobbing). C’mon, whoever heard of a freckled face in India??? A friend in school used to call me a spotted banana (Wail). Why me???

I am blessed (are you kidding me???), with a fair complexion is what my mom says. I know the pain of burdened with a skin where every dot and spot is visible as if on a painting. When my freckles start dancing a mile away from my face in summer, ignorant people who haven’t heard of freckles (and politeness) often ask me, “Hey, what is that on your face??? The spots???” The ideal retort would be “Hey, when you were a kid, didn’t your mom teach you not to ask rude questions???”

A slightest remark on my freckly face, and I would plunge into a self-doubt session of gargantuan proportions. Then from freckles, I would move to many other such short-comings within me, and then would end up feeling like crap. What’s the whole point???

But then, someone told me, those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable and cute. What’s a face without freckles, like a canvas without a painting??? Well, that’s a first... (Blush)

Now I tell my-self, well, I can’t fight them all. Neither do I want to. So, who is perfect??? But life goes on. I still hide from the summer heat, and will do for-ever. But, my little freckles are now a part of me I accept and love.

P.S: Love your-self, no matter what. The world is yours when you love your-self.

Mars and Venus??? Gimme a break…

Is all the hype and hoopla surrounding gender discussions genuine??? Or is it just a social set-up that has been created, so that it can be twisted according to one’s convenience.
Men and Women alike have been victims of this so called gender bias, with a substantial skew towards female bias. How many times have we heard expressions similar to, “He cries like a girl” or “She argues like a man”. Have the Vedas scripted that men shouldn’t weep and that women shouldn’t fight???

Gender bias!!! Did god bestow this art on us, or is it a complete human creation??? Is it inherent or cultivated??? Is it a societal practice or is it a conscious effort??? Some would argue stating that it is purely a human creation, whereas some would brazenly say that god created man as a superior being. Some religions even subscribe to such a theory, but that’s not the point of discussion here. I shall save that debate for another post.

Women have always been a point of ridicule in SMS jokes and funny e-mail chains. Gender jokes have emerged as the most popular vote bank for every TV show contestant trying to elicit a few laughs out of fellow men, who are somehow always victims of domestic violence at home, in some form or the other. I watched a popular show on TV whose central focus on stand-up comedy by children below the age of 10, and astonishingly, gender jokes made a recurring appearance there too. Well, and I thought children were the only faction of the society who were free of all biases. Go figure…

You might want to turn around and say, “Hey, why are you reacting so vehemently about an issue as trivial as this??? God!!! You are such a feminist”. Well, I have heard that before. And maybe I am over-reacting to the jokes bit. But having said that, the issue that needs serious consideration is here is that, this culture so widely publicized percolates very deep into the homes of people who have witnessed a world starkly different from yours and mine.

These are homes where women are ridiculed and humiliated on a daily basis. These are homes where a girl child is sent to earn daily wages, so that her brother can go to school. These are homes where a daughter is considered a burden, and the sooner you rid off her to another equally chauvinistic male, the better. These are homes where women are slaves and have no life, so much so that a woman having an identity is an idea as alien as thinking of a size zero south Indian actress. These thoughts are truly oxymoronic in nature.

It is often observed that, a lioness is always the one who hunts for the prey and drags it to the lion to feast on. The lion has its share, and then the leftovers are fed to the cubs and then the lioness eats. Did humans learn this tradition from lions or vice versa??? Hell… Just eat together man. Big Deal!!! At the end of the day, it’s just another animal.

Dowry is another such wonderful invention that has made lives of many miserable. And without any heed to the havoc its wrecking on our society, we continue to practice it with little shame. It is said that, a few centuries ago, a man had to give dowry to a girl’s father, as he was sacrificing the “light” of his house to another man, which is why our ancestors called it “Kanyadaanam”. Well, during some point in time, the men got greedy, and decided that it was revenge time!!! Lo and Behold, dowry was in place faster than lightning on a stormy day. Logically then, “kanyadaanam should become “purushadaanam” and men should marry and move into the girl’s place. A process reversal should include all aspects of the ritual.

I can go on and on… and I know the answer to my own questions. Sigh!!! Why am I even trying???

Authored by "Your's Truly" (smile)

I have a sudden impulse to author a book, something romantic and mushy (blush), in the lines of “Mills & Boon”. I think I should explore my writing abilities one step at a time, especially for the audience’s benefit. (Wink)

So people, here you go. An exclusive preview to the preface, right here, right now (smile), on my own blog. Read On…

He came in during the dark of the night, slowly and stealthily, creeping into my room. I am a light sleeper, and the slightest of movements can break my slumber. I woke up, and glanced around; eerie silence. I then laid my head back on the pillow and turned to one side of the bed, only to find my-self face to face with a pair of glowing bright eyes. I screamed, and I before I knew it, I felt something land heavily on my head. The pain was excruciating, and my head spun like it was a wind-mill on a stormy night. That was the last thing I remember…

All about life... (Wink)

Can life let us down??? Or is it a feeling that’s an off-shoot of our insecurities and shortcomings.

I can often hear people complaining, especially in difficult time, about how life has been un-fair to them, and about how they have gotten a raw deal from the world. Phullleeezzzee… Spare me the sermon; No one can give you a raw deal but you your-self. Don’t you think…?

Life is all about choices (am sure you have heard that before), but think about it. When you pray for courage, does god give you courage, or an opportunity to be courageous??? When you pray for happiness, does god give you happiness, or does he give you an opportunity to be happy??? (I stole these lines from a movie)… (Sheepish)… I know of a friend of mine, who is petrified of ghosts and spirits, so much so that she is cannot manage 5 minutes alone in a dark room, before she gives up on life. Well, even I was in that condition a few months ago; I couldn’t open the door of my empty flat, thinking that something would pounce on me out of the dark; So horror movies are out of question… Sheesh… Ok, let’s focus on the friend now. So I advised her to read the “hanuman chalisa” everyday, and I told her that she would conquer fear if she did this. It helped me… Trust me, it’s the faith that matters at the end of the day, whether its God, or life, or relationships… anything for that matter.

Life is never tailor-made to suit somebody’s needs and desires. Life is all about making the right choices, believing in them, and following that up with the grabbing every opportunity that comes your way and the passion to make dreams work.

PS: I don’t really know why I wrote this blog. (Wink)

Gawd... Grow up people....

I was enjoying a peaceful breezy evening, with a hot steamy cup of tea, in my portico. Then, out of the blue, It happened... in front of me... and i saw it. A horrific accident. A car crashed into a speeding bike. The guy broke his leg and the girl was profusely bleeding. On-lookers rushed to the aid of the kids on the bike. My husband grabbed a bottle of water, some antiseptic and a wad of cotton, and rushed to the accident spot.

I stood there and looked on, too stunned to react, as some others who are the self-appointed moral upholders of society, laws and values, got together and started to abuse and beat up the car driver. What were they doing??? Did they even pause to think, as to whose fault the accident actually was??? Automatic suspicion was directed towards the car driver... was it because he was not hurt, was it because he was driving an expensive automobile... i am still wondering!!!

The car had its indicator on, and was turning into a by-lane, in perfectly acceptable sane speed of around 20-30kms/hr. The biker, an adolescent, and his friend was speeding at alomost 60 -70km/hr in a yamaha, without a silencer, disturbing the calm surroundings of a serene residential locality. He saw the car (i am assuming), saw the indicator (again i am assuming), and tried to cut in front of the car (this i saw). There was a spilt second reaction time, and before we knew it, they were all over the place, the girl, the guy and the bike.

This is a small incident, I agree. I am not blowing it out of proportion, but incidents such as these happen everywhere in varying degrees and varying styles. Is it adequate to condemn the dangerously reckless driving habits of today's youth (a significant percentage), or the should i also focus on the mature middle aged men (huh!!) who without a second thought started beating up the driver of the car for NO fault of his. When will human-kind acheive balance and maturity??? When will they start to appreciate their superiority over the other living beings, bestowed on us by the almighty and put it to constructive use??? Seems like a long wait... but I'd like to see it happen some day. Sigh!!!

Books - A man's best friend

Books can be so liberating. I think so… No disputes on that please. Books can build a Castle of Caress around you, liberating you from the pretense and mockery of everyday life. Try them…
I am an avid reader, and I literally live off books. Reading transports you into a different world; a world that is recklessly creative, magical and imaginative; a world that holds no bounds and knows no boundaries. Bliss…
People often ask me… “Which is the latest book you have read? Or reading??” and I instinctively launch into a tirade about the book, its characters and story line, which is habitually followed by a recommendation to read the book without fail.
Funny, how much I want people to subscribe to this insanity I suffer from. But trust me when I say… when there is no one around, loneliness is that last thing that come to your mind when you have a friend in books.
A child’s growing up years become more memorable with books, and they also are an adolescent’s best source of information and an almost mandatory aid to a retirement life. Then why shed the pleasure when in your 30’s and 40’s. Stall time, recapture memories and re-invigorate life, by doing something, as simple as picking up a book.
I am fan of fiction, Decide your preference (or try everything), Go ahead, drop everything else, and take to reading. You will surely put the book down, only for as much time as it takes to thank me for this blog… 
P.S: Please use book-marks. Don’t fold corners of a book’s pages.

Global Gyan for married women!!!

People have umpteen expectations from a marriage. It’s a relationship that binds people together forever, sometimes body and soul, and sometimes is just an obligation and a compromise. Is it worth it??? All the fights, all the pain, the disagreements, the hatred and the exasperation of living with a person who has no idea who you really are.
What does one want from a relationship??? A sense of security, happiness and lots of love, right!!! Sometimes I wonder, is that too much to ask for??? Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to mean, unconditional love, respect and trust for each other. I believed that, and silly me, I still doJ. Someone once told me, marriage is like a bank, you have to deposit as much as you want to withdraw. If you only tend towards withdrawals, you will soon come face to face with an empty bank account, sometimes maybe overdrawn with pending interests J
Sometimes, couples tend to drift apart after a few months of married life, in some cases it takes a few years. I am unable to decide which option is better though J I am happily married (isn’t that an oxymoron??), and me and my partner are sane, sensible individuals who are in love with each other. Well, that looks like a perfect recipe for a wonderful marriage. Often, it proves insufficient. Trust and respect precede love, as a marriage matures, and these feelings cannot be inflicted, they have to earned, on an everyday basis. Tough!!! But that’s life J
Marriage counselors, and these funny anchors on weekly television shows, so easily say “talk it out”. Isn’t that the toughest thing to do in such circumstances??? The lady so freely disbursing advice on TV would probably be battling a thousand relationship demons every day, yet… No hard feelings, she has to do her job J I just wish, she’d do it right J Aaaarghhhh… again I am drifting.
Let’s get things into perspective here. We know very well that your partner loves u, and that you matter to him more than anyone else in this whole wide world. Great J He/she trusts you, and it’s insane, because you sometimes tend to have suspicious thoughts. How can this trust be so unconditional??? The sense of security is there, most of the times. we lose it sometimes, maybe because, we detect a lack of respect sometimes; a tendency to undermine our intelligence, not that I am a genius, but I can manage quite well on the IQ scale. What irks us is their feeling that our opinions are not so keenly thought out, or that we have no idea what we are talking about. What’s worse is they think, that they know better about anything and everything, and their decisions, as opposed to ours, will bear better fruits for our future. Unfair man, totally, terribly unfair J.
But well, how does one go about changing such an attitude??? People have tried everything under the sun from fighting to discussing to convincing to everything, literally everything. Next thing they know, they will be giving up on the relationship, and will get into the obligatory – compromising mode of life. We don’t want that to happen, because, clichéd as it may sound, we cherish this relationship way too much to damage it, even a wee bit. The least one can do is, to listen, to seek each others views and opinions on decisions that have an impact on both lives. That sounds easy to me; I do it all the time J
It isn’t too late yet…

My first blog...

Well, the concept of blogging has somehow always troubled me. I have never been able to envision people's motivation to pour their hearts out to the rest of the world. Why in heaven's name did people do it, dint they have friends, i reasoned. I have never been a big blog fan and i have often discouraged people from doing it. And, unbeleivable as it may sound, i never bother to read the well publicized blog spat between the two bollywood biggies.

Now i know... Its a wierd sense of accomplishment, one's own blog :)... Difficult to explain in words (go figure... and i am blogging). Get set to read some cool blue blogs, my creative juices are active only when i am going thru' a low phase in life. But now that i have officially launched this ;), i have acquired rights to extend opinions on everything under the sun, from statements on fashion faux-pas to global warming to world economic crisis to my neighbors dog. So get set... and please feel free NOT to comment, am not a big fan of constructive criticism either :D