People have umpteen expectations from a marriage. It’s a relationship that binds people together forever, sometimes body and soul, and sometimes is just an obligation and a compromise. Is it worth it??? All the fights, all the pain, the disagreements, the hatred and the exasperation of living with a person who has no idea who you really are.
What does one want from a relationship??? A sense of security, happiness and lots of love, right!!! Sometimes I wonder, is that too much to ask for??? Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to mean, unconditional love, respect and trust for each other. I believed that, and silly me, I still doJ. Someone once told me, marriage is like a bank, you have to deposit as much as you want to withdraw. If you only tend towards withdrawals, you will soon come face to face with an empty bank account, sometimes maybe overdrawn with pending interests J
Sometimes, couples tend to drift apart after a few months of married life, in some cases it takes a few years. I am unable to decide which option is better though J I am happily married (isn’t that an oxymoron??), and me and my partner are sane, sensible individuals who are in love with each other. Well, that looks like a perfect recipe for a wonderful marriage. Often, it proves insufficient. Trust and respect precede love, as a marriage matures, and these feelings cannot be inflicted, they have to earned, on an everyday basis. Tough!!! But that’s life J
Marriage counselors, and these funny anchors on weekly television shows, so easily say “talk it out”. Isn’t that the toughest thing to do in such circumstances??? The lady so freely disbursing advice on TV would probably be battling a thousand relationship demons every day, yet… No hard feelings, she has to do her job J I just wish, she’d do it right J Aaaarghhhh… again I am drifting.
Let’s get things into perspective here. We know very well that your partner loves u, and that you matter to him more than anyone else in this whole wide world. Great J He/she trusts you, and it’s insane, because you sometimes tend to have suspicious thoughts. How can this trust be so unconditional??? The sense of security is there, most of the times. we lose it sometimes, maybe because, we detect a lack of respect sometimes; a tendency to undermine our intelligence, not that I am a genius, but I can manage quite well on the IQ scale. What irks us is their feeling that our opinions are not so keenly thought out, or that we have no idea what we are talking about. What’s worse is they think, that they know better about anything and everything, and their decisions, as opposed to ours, will bear better fruits for our future. Unfair man, totally, terribly unfair J.
But well, how does one go about changing such an attitude??? People have tried everything under the sun from fighting to discussing to convincing to everything, literally everything. Next thing they know, they will be giving up on the relationship, and will get into the obligatory – compromising mode of life. We don’t want that to happen, because, clichéd as it may sound, we cherish this relationship way too much to damage it, even a wee bit. The least one can do is, to listen, to seek each others views and opinions on decisions that have an impact on both lives. That sounds easy to me; I do it all the time J
It isn’t too late yet…
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Now thats what I call a roller coaster ride without actually sitting in one!! Bravo.
ReplyDeleteWas it??? he he he... thanks btw... Glad u enjoyed reading it.
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ReplyDeletearey marriage is a euphemism for compromise. its very important to have intellectual compatibility and mutual respect in a relationship. one shud recognize the positives in his/her partner and be in awe of it (like...she is so much better at planning and organizing parties than me and that requires excellent ppl skills). it shud be a constant process of learning and discovery for both. hence most men who say they want housewives turn out to be egotistical scoundrels as they are scared of having someone around who is smarter than them. thousands of years ago too males in the human species have always been the more stronger ones competing with each other for territory, for females etc...it isnt different in today's times either. since the days of school most boys have to settle for being second at whatever they do and this is usually repeated in college and even in workplaces where u have to work as some god forsaken fellow's subordinate. insecurity creeps in...hence they are on a look out to jump in at every opportunity they get to prove their manhood and exercise power. its a check to see whether they still have it or not.
ReplyDeleteyou know mebbe after reading all this your perspective of a male might change and u might start showing him some sympathy and humour him at times when he acts that way.
sometimes i think more than love, body, soul UFO, lock ness monster and all such metaphysical stuff; the key to a good relationship is such psycho-evolutionary study and knowledge. and u have it now! :P
Is this the Rohan Rao i know????
ReplyDeletethe answer to that question depends on whether u like the comment or no... :)
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